Slow, but persistent progress

I’ll try to post a picture tomorrow–I don’t want another decapitated tummy shot, and there’s no one here to shoot me until Jeff gets home tonight.  And he’s coming back from a trip to North Dakota, so the picture can wait.  

The scale hasn’t changed this week, except for a one pound dip yesterday.  You can count it, if you want, but it didn’t happen today.  Today, I am nursing a sore lower back.  Yesterday, I was doing squats, and I felt something pop when my thighs got perpendicular to the floor.  When I raised up, everything felt unstable, and I decided it was time to quit doing squats for the day.  

Today, I have trouble twisting and bending.  I’m taking ibuprofen and more or less resting.  Work was awful this morning, but I sat with Bren at Yoke’s in their hard chairs near the deli area, had a nice, unsweetened coffee, and felt much better.  I’m thinking the dehydrating effects of the coffee helped take some of the swelling down, and the hard chair forced good posture, so it all clicked back into place.  I did my usual walk today, but I paid attention to how I moved, breathed deeply and just stayed within my limits.  

My body loves to derail exercise by getting hurt.  “No, I don’t want to do this anymore.  I feel sick.  Or hurt. Yes, hurt, that’s it.  Let’s stop.”  

No.  We’ll rest for a bit, but we’re not going to stop.  I like the fact that I can wear more clothes in my closet and my tummy is less bulgy, and hello!  Or should I say, goodbye! to the back boobs? I noticed this morning that they are on their way out of here.  

I’m not going to count weeks anymore.  That would imply an end.  I’m not ending.  I’m not giving up.  I’m not going back.  Any backslides now are going to be considered indulgences, and I can have them, rarely.  I’ve had two “popsicles” this week, and they were actually those 100% fruit pops made by Breyer’s or Dreyer’s.  I can never keep those two companies straight in my head. 

I can deal with this.  I can live like this, eating veggies, meat and fruit, going out on walks, and working out.  Even if I never lose another pound–but I’m hoping I will–I will have done several good things: 

1) Quit smoking.

2) Quit aspartame. 

3) Eliminated processed foods (except as a rare “treat”).  

4) Lost several pounds of fat. 

5) Created better eating habits. 

6) Started what will become an exercise habit. 

I’m good with that.  

We’ll try the picture tomorrow.  You’ll see what Garnier Olia has done to me.  

Weight update

I’m skipping the photo tonight, simply because there doesn’t seem to be much visual change at the moment.  

The good news is that after eight weeks on Primal, I’ve lost 13 pounds.  

The latest change on the clothes front is that it looks like I’m going to have to replace about half of my underwear, because half of it doesn’t fit anymore.  That’s something not too many people mention when they lose weight.  Surprise!  Your underwear can’t stay up!  

The size 14 pants really need to go.  I need to commit to 12s and move on.  But it’s like the gigantic WSU jersey I bought one Halloween to wear at the Q; I just can’t let go.  I still sleep in that jersey, though I’m swimming in it.  

This is the first week I’ve been able to wear a pair of size 10s all day.  I disguised the muffin top.  They weren’t painful, just ugly.  Progress!  The 8s don’t do up yet.  Not surprising.  

I found an exercise program on Prevention.com that I think I can live with. We’ll see how six weeks of that works out.  Plus, Jeff and I both won a month’s membership at the athletic club across the street from our house.  We’ll get to work out there and enjoy the hot tub and sauna for a little while.   

I still don’t miss bread or potatoes.  I kind of miss beans.  I know I’ll miss the fresh peas out of the garden.  I can’t wait for garden goodies.  The only thing I have been insanely craving is cake.  I may have to get a small slice of red velvet cake and be done with it.  Satisfy the craving without guilt, and then go back to what I was doing.  I did that the other day with a Diet Coke.  Yes, I had an evil, aspartame-filled Diet Coke and did not die.  

It was not a happy experience.  Let’s just say that carbonation is uncomfortable–very uncomfortable–if you’re no longer adapted to it.  

I’m still very much on board with this Primal thing.  It’s not a miracle cure, but it certainly is better than what I had been doing.  

It’s Not Atkins

There are several things you “give up” when you do Primal, but the one thing that causes the most trouble is grains.  The American diet is entirely built around it.  You only think meat is the centerpiece of your meal.  It may be your starting point, but look at your plate when you eat next.  What is the one thing you are never without?  

Even salads are generally served with bread, crackers, or croutons. 

And potatoes, really, are only a substitution for a grain.  They serve the same purpose in a meal. 

My meals always look to others like there’s something missing.  I’ll have a heaping pile of vegetables, a generous (forget deck of card-size) serving of some kind of meat, maybe a bit of cheese, and some kind of non-floury sauce drizzled over the top.  Jeff still cannot comprehend that a person can lose weight eating as I do.  I don’t think he’ll really believe it until I drop quite a bit more.  

“Trust you to find a diet you can pour bleu cheese dressing all over.” 

But the thing that’s hardest is just finding things to eat in public.  I am not supposed to be eating out of convenience stores because all that’s available is processed food, but when I’m caught without, and I’m hungry, I’ll make the best of a bad situation.  I’ll get some cheese or some lunch meat or even, if I’m really desperate, a hot dog, and brave the nitrites rather than the carbs.  

Because what else is there to eat in a convenience store that doesn’t have flour or sugar in it?  

And when I take my bunless hot dog in the little tray to the counter, I get the look.  You know, the sideways look with the smirk.  And they ask, “Doing Atkins, huh?”  

No, I am not doing Atkins, where I can eat nitrite-filled garbage, but no bun, as long as I keep within 20 grams of carbs or less, and things like cheese, carrots, and tomatoes are verboten.  

And I just look down at my hot dog that I am not supposed to be eating, but am, because I was in too much of a hurry in the morning before driving 45 miles to work to fix myself a proper salad, and I know I’m going to pay for it later and say…..

“Yeah.”  

Mirror/bathroom shot–the ultimate in class!

Mirror/bathroom shot--the ultimate in class!

Oh well. So….my hair looks a little flat here at the end of the day, but I am still in love with it. Such a great shape. It can be smooth or fluffy, it can be back or flirtatiously in my eyes, and it can be serious or totally not. I am very happy with this. It’s the shortest it’s been in a long time.

I have not lost any pounds in this, my sixth week of Primal. However, I have lost an entire inch off my midsection. The ratio is the same with the hips and waist, but I’ve lost 3.25 inches on my waist and 3.0 on the hips (which I measure around the fullest part of my belly. I should probably measure at the level of my butt, though, right? Not sure).

It’s the walking. I put in almost 3 hours on the road, and about an hour of lifting this week. I have to take it easy on the lifting, because both my shoulders are sore from work. I don’t want to injure myself further.

Foodwise, I’m beginning to see that I need to cut down on my fruit intake a bit if I want to see weight loss results. I might be pushing myself above the 100 g carb limit by indulging in fruit. It seems the smoothie I had yesterday might have been a problem.

I really should retire all my 14 size pants. I’m just resistant to the idea. It’s like a safety blanket I need to release and just don’t feel ready to. Part of it is that I don’t really have any size 12 work pants in good shape, and I don’t want to spend money on a few pairs when I may be retiring them as well in a couple months.

I found a pair of size 9 work pants in the closet yesterday. It has been SO LONG since I could wear 9s. I know I bought them when I was comfortably wearing 10s, because technically, they’re supposed to be the same thing, but with smaller hips. I have never worn these pants.

Do you think I’ll make it? Or am I just fooling myself?

Goals this week: cut down on fruit, increase veggies. Walk about 4 hours (in Primal, you do no more than 5, so you don’t get into the Chronic Cardio zone). Get my shoulders healed up so I can lift better. Spend some serious time writing. Either 2 pounds gone, or another half inch, depending on what my body wants to do.

Doable? I hope so. At least the hair is fabulous.

Tummy shot 2

Tummy shot 2

So here’s where I am, in tank and yoga pants. A long way to go, but still going.

Three pounds lost. One and a half inches at the waist, one at the hips. Size 14 is sloppy on me. Size 12 is snug and tends to muffin top. Size 10 is just painful and ridiculous. Size 8 doesn’t get up my hips and 6 doesn’t get up my legs.

I’m feeling better, healthier and stronger, but I’m not satisfied with where I am right now. I think I need to step up the exercise, possibly.

I am not counting anything–calories, carbs, protein–anything. I probably should be.

And then I remember. It has been two weeks. Only two weeks. Two weeks without any grains. Two weeks without any sugar, without any beans.

And I have such a long way to go.

The occasional Red Velvet Cookie

Jeff came home from the store with all kinds of veggies for both of us.  He’s not doing Primal, but for the month of February, he’s not drinking beer and he’s making a concentrated effort to eat more vegetables.  He has no goals in mind, really.  He just wants to see if he loses some weight and feels better.

He did, however, come home with a tube of Pillsbury Red Velvet Cookie dough.

I held up the tube and asked, “So we’ve gone out of support right into sabotage?”

He grinned.  “Yup.”

A bit later, he said that he got the tube because he thought that maybe it was an incentive/reward thing.  You don’t bake the whole tube all at one time.  You freeze it.  Then after you (meaning me) lose five pounds or so, you slice off enough for one cookie and bake it.

He means well.

He also knows that Red Velvet Cake is my favorite, and that when I discovered Schwan’s makes a Red Velvet cake/cheesecake dessert, my world almost came to a blissfully self-destructive end.

Again, he means well.

I think we better just leave that tube in the freezer for a while.  A long while.